Profound Illegibility at 330 AM on a Warm Mumbai Night.

Its 330 am in the morning and am in Mumbai and am trying my level best to get my data and my mind straight for a highly delayed “mock” project review due tomorrow, finalizing one of the key stepping stones to get that little pink sheet of paper which confirms that i have spent four years of my life trying to fortify my future with a bachelors degree (which i hope will be eventually convert to a masters and so on).

Though not digressing, this is the time when the world truly goes silent and all you hear is your own mind feebly trying to say “dude, wtf happened to your circadian clock and all that was normal whence you were having fun” and the whir of ceiling fans (yes, in plural). Time for profoundness it is.

Realizations, no rather, beliefs that I have truly wasted 4 years of my life by choosing a college (yes, to all you cynics who are studying with me, it was my choice) located in a rural area and hence throwing away all the amenities, exposures and opportunities that come with an urban living, and hence being a little handicapped in utilizing the said time to the absolute fullest, come swiftly and in an increasing crescendo.

Yet, rather than giving in to the said thoughts, like i had been doing all these days, agreeing without any qualms in sheer physical tiredness, (these thoughts come only in those times when i was mind blowingly tired from consistent travel ... another choice i had, in part made for self) my mind rebels, claiming that to be not true... See, yes, i have missed out on vocations and hobbies and other supplementary bits of random yet useful learning that i now realise that i should own by now, i still have learnt a heck lot of stuffs in these four years, including (among others) how to handle people, how to adjust, how to be truly neutral and among many other stuffs, how to truly NOT do anything (yet, not be bored) for prolonged periods of time...
Sacrifices were made, choices were accepted, boredom/jadedness/burnouts were kept at bay way more easily than i had previously (before these 4 years) thought possible, aren’t these considered learnings?

“Basically, Yes, learning happened, just that it was that different kind, which you thought was not required or ‘whatever’ ... Make peace that you got to enjoy it this kind, whatever be, you are not getting these 4 years back, and be happy that you got what you got and trust me, it will help, way more than those stuffs that you think you didn’t get by choosing what you chose”...
(Here is where i make a conscious effort not to get into the argumentative thought processes about destiny/fate etc, though yes, they exist as i have witnessed mine in action. One word for y`all – Love).

End thing, an age/period of existence/etc has passed and however much the pessimist in me whines (just for the heck of it) that it was absolutely useless... It was not, and i am happy witnessing it while it ends and with the realization(s) that the pessimist in me was and is absolutely wrong.

Made great friends even... were always there, were they not? ;) ... Even gratuitous for that, for knowing how many layers there are to people, and how nice and fun they can be.

Will definitely miss these mental, absolutely deranged, weird and absolutely fun nutcases... Saif, Samel, Rohan, Sirsikar, Chetan, Chandra, Sanket, Manaswi, Ameya, Adesh, Ritu, Shalaka, Radhika (especially exam times ;) with this one), Rutul, Sandeep,Prasanna and Mahadev, Vivek P, Anoop, Derrik , Sharad, Kashyap, Ashwin, Indro, Baria, Sujit and Manoj, Adi Sengar, Paaras, Tejas, Jinesh, Vardhaman, Gunjan, and everyone else i`d the pleasure of knowing. Cant type the names quick enough to match with the images and memories rushing in my head. Will miss everybody though.

(Thoughts are weird, are they not? While they appear to be connected, they are actually extremely disjointed, making sense only to their creator).

That Era has ended; it’s time for new horizons and new stuffs to work on...
What is the first thing I’ll do? Get serious. With the end of these four years, that extended time when i was allowed to be a kid has ended, now is the time when i personally choose to get into the grind, grit my teeth and grind on. If i be a kid anymore, it’ll just be a joke. My plans are set (well, another positive outcome of continuous travel, rural living, etc of the past 4yrs) and i intend to follow them, and make sure that they come true, that they are executed to the last letter. This is the first test, for self... to see how hard i can push the extended empires of my mind and self. It is time to prove that my dreams aren’t just for dreaming. The only thing that i can hope for is that the people who care/are dependent on me stop hyperventilating, overreacting and overprotecting and know that i am the one in control of my world and its a position that i am not willing to give up at all...

Adios, Amigos and Amigas....

No, I’d love to sit here and ramble some more about slightly disjointed stuffs, but i realised that its time to get back to my burgeoning project. This piece i`ve written is not edited, am publishing it just as it was written, “a set of thoughts and emotions and an attempt to convert them into something legible”.

The Ocean

A deep Orangey-Red, hanging in the distance,
Masking what might have been the Horizon...

Inky blues above you, disturbed by Twinkling bits
of Peaceful White...

Soft grainy texture, warm beneath your naked,
gloriously happy feet...

A Roar, Surprisingly gentle to the Ears,
Spoken by an Ancient Gentle Giant, Speaking of,

Time that has passed and will pass, in a Language,
that you would Love to Know, but Actually Don`t...

Sweetly Salty, the Smell of the Singing Wind,
Reminding you of all thats good in this Realm,
and Consoling you about all thats not...

Cool, in a way thats always appreciable,
Deliciously Soothing,
Colored in the Hues of the Sky over the Invisible Horizon...

Wetness, like the Happy Tears of a Loved One,
whence Loved by You...

Beauty, like that written in Odes,
by Bards with long beards and wise eyes...

The Ocean, and the beach where it decides,
to show its Love for You.

A Prose on Five

Five Verses of Truth,

Five Senses of The Human Realm,

All of the Five Flowing Like a River Undaunted...

Taming Gaia and Reflecting The Moods of Helios,

Flowing with the Will and Command of The Heart.

Setting The Senses of Two,
With Heart and Love,
Footloose

The Only Time Time Took A Back Seat.

You say you are waiting for something.



And I say to you,
"Yes, yes. We all wait".



What are you waiting for?, you ask me,
You. I wait for you.